{On My Heart}

It has been on my heart to write for alittle over a week now.

I wanted to share my heart, but I couldn't quite get the words to express my feelings and thoughts.

As I was reading the blogs I follow tonight, it all became clear.

It was like my own thoughts were the fellow womens' as well.

It was as if the Lord gave them their words, so that I could find mine.

Waiting.

We are all waiting on something,

the new school year, the weekend, births, understanding, comfort, needs, a hug, a kiss, a trip, answers.

We all just sit here, waiting.

It is soooo hard not to worry in this period of waiting. And yet I find myself there, ALOT. (You too?)

As I was singing on the worship team this morning, a Hymn I heard a million times previous, hit me in the gut and tears welled up in my eyes.

I have decided to follow Jesus.

"I have decided to follow Jesus. I have decided to follow Jesus. I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back. No turning back." 

Isn't the act of waiting what fully knowingly we agree to when we decide to follow Jesus?

There is no turning back.

We can't just say, "Oh just kidding, I am not feeling this whole waiting thing today. Next thing please."

We commit to even waiting for Jesus to come and take us all home one day.

How thankful I am for that.

Without the act of waiting, we would not have eternal life.

So who are we to be impatient for earthly things, while we admit to waiting for our time to worship our King eternally?

So here I am waiting. Patient some days, and not so patient others.

I have decided to follow Jesus.

No turning back.

{Colleen}

This post can be simply shortened to two words. Thank you.

...

Most of you know when I registered and applied for college, my heart was being overwhelmed with my desire to be a nurse.

I wanted to love the sick and hurting through Jesus. And Nursing is one of the top ways to do so.

I got praised and congratulated constantly. Of course, how cool would it be if I was actually a nurse?!

But many of you don't know, as my first year of college progressed I couldn't help but get discouraged and second guess my abilities to complete nursing school and actually go into the field. The Department of Nursing Advisers frightened me and I allowed the stress of being a perfectionist to steal my joy.

Unfortunately, my first year ended with the same mood on my career choice with no real other options showing themselves. Sad isn't it?

Now this brings me to, Colleen.

Colleen is a Nurse at San Antonio Hospital in Upland, California.

We crossed paths this past week in terrible circumstances, but the meeting I will never regret.

Why you ask?

She is an amazing nurse.
Truly an inspiration.

Colleen reminded me of how I waned to be as a nurse. A Nurse who not only cared about her patients but also their family members. A Nurse who works hard even while four months pregnant. A Nurse who chooses compassion even when her patients aren't compassionate. A Nurse who prays over her patients and with their family members. A Nurse who sits with her patients if they are not blessed with family.  A Nurse who hugs.

What a blessing it was to see such a nurse in action.

I don't know if she was a Christian or believed in a relationship with God, but when she went to end her shift for the night and gave me a hug I could only get out the words "I want to be a nurse, thank you" before tearing up. She may not have known it, but she had shared God's love with me that day. He was using Colleen to show me that I could be a nurse. I could be just like the nurse I wanted to be. No scary Nurse Advisers or my own perfectionism (is that a word?) would get in the way if the Lord willed it!

How amazing to know that.

I am still praying and seeking God's will for my life, but it is wonderful to see that Nursing can still be a possibility.

So from the bottom of my heart, Thank you Colleen.

{Prayerful Heart}

Have you ever felt as if there aren't enough hours in the day to pray about all the things on your heart?

As if we can't get all the right words out or there isn't enough time to express every prayer?

I must admit, lately I was feeling like this.

Thankfully I was blessed with a Devotional that spoke to my heart.

How simply as humans, we get defeated with this as if God doesn't hear our hearts. He knows his children inside and out. And we tend to forget that.

I am the type of person that thinks, a lot. And I try to turn that into my time expressing what is on my heart with our Lord. Sometimes its a conversation or even a simple sentence. He hears me. {Thank you Father} But, most of the time I feel as if I have so many thing to pray for I get side tracked or lost in thought.

But my heart was blessed when the scripture I was reading for my Devotional was just what I needed to hear {Divine Intervention or what?}

1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

Always be joyful. Never stop praying.

How perfect, sometimes we don't always have to stop and pray in the conventional manner. Most of the time just letting God listen to whats on our hearts is all we need.

Romans 12:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Faithful in prayer. We have to continually pray for what is on our hearts, that is what we are called to do, so we shouldn't feel defeated when we feel we have too many things to pray about.

 It was a blessing to my heart to be reassured of this. I am thankful he is always listening, I just have to not "forget." 

Have a blessed rest of the week!

Love, C.