{Nineteenth}

Well, it is that time of year again.

I am officially another year older.

I am now 19.

Next year I will be two decades old young.

sheesh.

I must say, I have mixed feelings about this year's birthday.

There are so many things that are not how I planned or expected as I start out my nineteenth year. Which is making me ponder a bit more on how I want to spend it.

So how is this year going to look?

What do I want the 20 year old Clarissa to feel in a years time?

What will she say as her 19th year draws to a close?

How does she want the ones around her to feel about her life?

What does she want her King to say about her in this time of life?

Truth is friends,

I want My words to be bolder for Christ.

My love to speak louder.

My smile to be stronger.

My laugh to be lighter.

And My outlook sweeter.

Goodness, that is a lot.

As I write this, my Pandora station plays "Made to Worship"

You and I were made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
When you and I embrace surrender
When you and I choose to believe
Then you and I will see who we were meant to be

I could just cry.

This should be my focus.

Every year.

This is all I need to strive for.

That is my calling.

How wonderful my Lord is to give me such a blessing as this!

So I guess, that is how I want the twenty year old Clarissa, the ones around her, and her Lord to see her in a years time.

A woman who has truly found where she is meant to be.

Worshiping.

Loving, through her Lord.

Surrendered to His will, alone.

Showing grace and resting in the arms of grace.

And embracing it all.

...

I prayerfully enter this year.

With a renewed heart and open eyes.

Because of Christ and our faith in Him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God's presence.

Ephesians 3:12