"big data"-ing

This summer I am apart of a team that is researching "big data" and all the ambiguous things it entails.

We've all heard of it, but we silently ask "what is the world is "big data" and why the heck haven't they come up with a better name for it yet?" every time we hear it on the news or read it in the paper. 

So before I ramble about what exactly I'm doing, let me attempt to define it for you (with a little bit of help from my friend Webster, of course.)

"An accumulation of data that is too large and complex for processing by traditional database management tools."

Now that I've let Webster give us the surface meaning, I'll tell you the real deal. 

Every time you like something on facebook, search something on google, post on instagram, write on a blog, go to a blog, buy something off of amazon, and tweet a celebrity or your bestie next door, you and your information are being processed and stored for future use by these companies and our government (think Snowden.) This data can be your name, birthday, what your favorite color is, who your momma is, spending patterns/buying habits, where you like to eat, where you live (we're talking addresses in some cases), who you dig and the list goes on and on. Facebook and the like sell it to advertisers that then "magically" manage to find their product advertisements in your feeds and your "Customers who bought this, also like this..." sections. 

That, my friends, is big data.

With all this data being collected off of every single person who scrolls through the Internet, you can imagine why the word "big" finds its way in front of the term. 

So as a team we are asking, what will our world look like in time with our current use of big data? Basically, what will be the repercussions in years to come. 

This means I find myself sifting through MANY articles on the topic in front of a computer screen for multiple hours a day. Between yesterday and today alone, I have read/skimmed/processed 200 articles. (feel free to cringe, I know I do.) And then once all the material is processed we will analyse, process again, and then write a report in hopes of our findings being published in a scholarly journal. Oh, did I mention we will also be presenting this to scholars at the end of the summer? Yeah, that's a thing.

I believe without a doubt that this concept will soon be stocking my dreams much like the Grimm Reaper, but instead of rocking the menacing black robe and holding a scythe he'll be dressed like an NSA agent and a lasso of Internet cable will be in his hand which he uses to pull information out of you (a bit of a stretch, but you get the picture.) If this actually happens, I'll be sure and write the whole thing down so y'all can share in the merriment. 

Also, I believe the words "big" and "data" in the same sentence will gain a tone of curse like inflection a few weeks down the road. I can feel it. 

Anyway, now that I've completely lost you with my off kilter notions, I'll leave you with a few of my favorite quotes from my reading on the topic thus far. They are sarcastic gems that in knee deep research make me laugh and remember humor still exists. 

"The more I hear the term "big data," the more suspicious I become. Not in an Edward Snowden, the evil government's spying on us sort of way. If the curious of Fort Meade, Md., the National Security Agency's home, wish to poke through my electronic sock drawers for signs of terror, they are more than welcome. Happy to do my bit for national security." -Philip Delves Broughton, Wall Street Journal

"A COUPLE of weeks ago, my laptop died. My stomach churned as I realized that a full day's worth of work had vanished. "Maybe I could just ask the National Security Agency for a copy of it," I said to myself. "They have everything now." I didn't know which surveillance bureaucrat to call, and that's a shame." - John Schwartz, New York Times. 

Oh but wait, Mr. Schwartz continues his snide tone well into the article in which he discusses the need for the data collected to be given back to the individual for monetary or insightful gain. Prepare yourself for this. 

"Here's where it gets really cool: it all comes together in a little algorithm I'd like to call a "modest data proposal." Let's say my Fitbit shows that I'm getting into shape and my medical and insurance records suggest that I have no big health problems like heart disease or stroke ahead of me. In fact, I'm likely to live to 100. But my bank account and investment data show that I haven't built up a financial cushion for a lengthy retirement. At this rate, I'm almost certain to end up becoming a drag on Social Security and the health care system.

 Under my plan -- let's call it the lifestyle death panel -- the government would recommend that I take up smoking. That would shorten my life and help keep entitlement spending under control. I'll bet that tobacco companies might even pay for the ads.

 Or, as an alternative, Uncle Sam could encourage me to eat Triple Whoppers." 

And on that note, I leave you. 

P.s. Thanks for stopping in NSA Agents and Advertisers of the like, I'm sure my excessive use of your favorite buzz words tipped you off, it was my pleasure. You're more than welcome to check my Internet sock drawers as well. Happy hunting.