the in between(s)

The in between(s) are really hard on me, at least that's what I'm learning in this season of what feels like nothing but endings and the waiting on beginnings.

I'll finish school up this coming December, "real-adult" like life will start after that, along with which will come a bunch of other big heart things to size up and settle into before the looming deadline. Its weird and uncomfortable, to be honest. I've been warring with being content, holding on, and running full speed ahead for sometime now. 

Have you seen Inside Out yet? If you have, you can sort of get a mental picture of what the inside of my head looks like currently. For the record, no, I'm not hearing voices. Just a 20-something with the world at her finger tips (why the cliches? whyyyyy?) and the fear of the unknown all wrapped up into one little body. While college was new territory, it reflected the same sort of routine I had spent the last 12 years perfecting with just a sckoosh more freedom. Now that its all coming to an end and the comfortable little nest I've cozied myself into is pushing me out, I'm entering the real new territory. 

I've never been an adult before.

There, I said it. The perfectionist in me wants to act like I know what I'm doing and not seek help, but let's be real, girl needs some real soul searching and humility to enter this season.

I mean rent, careers, love-lives, and couch shopping are all things that call for guidance. 

I preach at myself mostly in this contributor blog post about seasons for my church, which I encourage you to read here.

But there is seriously some hard core thoughts and feelings left to unravel and break open as I enter and exit the in between(s).

So, I guess you should be prepared for a lot of that to happen and play out through the resurrection of this sacred writing space for my soul. 

Though, I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord. Psalm 27:13