the battle and the war

One of the many beautiful sunrises I have experienced on the way to school.

Early in the quarter I wrote here about my battle with fear and its grip on me.

The quarter will end this coming Thursday and its time to come clean and unpack the battle.

Here's the deal, y'all. In the beginning I was consciously going into each day with a plan to fight fear, but somewhere along the way I lost the consciousness of it all and settled into a comfortable half way point.

You see, part way through the battle I began to lose a sense of fear and live day to day with a sense of understanding. I got used to these new circumstances and they didn't affect me in the same ways.

In my dance class, there was a routine established. I knew that there was going to be a bar exercise first and then floor work was only going to last about 45 minutes. It was doable and I was able to use the routine as a coping mechanism when the hard stuff came up.

In Geology, however crazy or annoying my professor was being, I knew that the ranting would end after an hour and 50 minutes. Sure his constant late arrivals and half explained assignments took their toll, but I was able to filter what I really needed to focus on. It took ten weeks and a lot of prayer to get to that complete mindset, but I got there.

And with Newspaper, I was able to establish friendships and begin to understand the ways of the newspaper biz. It was fun to complete an article and see my name in print. My professor turned out to be pretty awesome as well.

So I guess what I have come to the conclusion of is this: early on I made the decision to fight fear and focus on the Lord's already mapped out plan for my quarter. I decided to see it  for what it was, a good plan, and choose to make the best of it. Because I did this, I didn't have to consciously battle fear in every moment. And since I rested in that, I began to even enjoy parts of these "out of my comfort zone" places.

I know this quarter was only a battle and not the war. I cant forget this focus, but I know I grew from the experiences these classes provided and I can entertain the thought of Winter quarter with a lighter heart.

Praise the good Lord in Heaven, I made it through!

Do y'all have any stories on how you battled your Fear? If so, I would love to hear.