things I wanted to say in 2014

As I prepared to write my #turn2015 post, I couldn't help but notice all the posts I had started and never finished late last year. Writers block had hit and hit hard. My inspiration was aloof and I was struggling to write my thoughts coherently and expressively. 

I thought it would be fun to do a conglomerate post of all those things I had started to say in a way that made sense. I still think these thoughts hold some merit to them and should be shared. I don't want these words to be lost in the shuffle.

Harnessed talents and passions // 8.23.14

This past week I have been thinking a lot about the paths we as people take through life and the people who guide us there.

On Wednesday as I sat in and presented on the preliminary research my team and I had done on Big Data, I found myself soul searching how I got there. You see, I realized all the way back in high school (it feels that long ago) I had people truly seeing me and the talents I possessed. They chose to harness those features and guide, partially unknowingly, me to the place I am today. Without those individuals, I truly wonder if I would have chosen this major and felt the ability to take on this research project.

I was reminded of the things that shape you. In the thick of it, I didn't see the impact. But as I looked back through those early years, I saw some of the building blocks that established a portion of my foundation. With wider eyes, it's an adventure to look back.

So this post will serve as a small thank you note to those people who saw me in those early years and sparked the chain reaction that has followed. 

DeAnna: Before I even entered high school, you had me scooped up and placed into a role I had no previous desire/knowledge of. You had heard of my outgoing personality and simply by word of mouth gave me a leadership position that would alter my high school experience, and in turn, my life. You gave me opportunities that stretched me in ways I didn't even know needed to be stretched. You saw my capabilities for leading and speaking and you sent me off places to practice and mold them. 

Because of you, I have hands on experience of being a leader. You gave me a space to mess up and try again, that included an ever changing "high school emotional" environment where working together was possible (and expected). I learned the pluses and deltas of the reactions of someone in a leadership role. Now, as a "real" adult I can be confident in areas many of my peers unfortunately are not. The experiences you aided have given me the ability to stand in front of a group of peers and feel invested and capable of most any task. 

For that, I thank you. You truly took the time to see my abilities and engage them. How special it is to have an experience like that. 

Dr. Baker: You showed me what exactly it means to be a good leader, one that leads by working along side their employees. You studied my personality and my blossoming leadership style. I knew I was a take charge kind of girl, but you showed me how to make that beneficial for all who are involved. You didn't belittle my thoughts and input because of my age, but rather encouraged it. 

Because of you, I make a conscious effort to be present for every presentation I am witness to. I am aware that body language is key to responsiveness and because of this I am a better presenter and audience member.  

Thank you for taking the time to respond and engage, you helped teach me to not be afraid to interact with my superiors and instead seek opportunities to listen and learn from them. For all of this, I thank you.

Navid: You were my support system and biggest cheerleader most times as I ran myself ragged through that school. You simply cared. I was blessed with a wonderful caring family, but you were a most happy addition to my team of supporters.

And like any good supporter, you stretched me. At the age of seventeen, you had me standing in front of a crowd of more than a thousand conducting a graduation. I never reviewed the tape because I know I'd cringe, but the confidence I gained speaking in front of those people has come into play time and time again. 

For the day in and day out and the extra time you put in, I thank you. You saw me and helped me find who exactly I wanted to be.

Thoughts from a fourth year // 9.5.14
The beginning of my fourth Fall quarter is upon me, which means this is probably the last back to school post before my final graduation post is written (Um. yeah. That was weird to write.) So, I though it would be fun to write an honest to goodness post of what I wish I could have told my baby freshman self.

- You are gonna want to blend in and fade to back. When you walk into big lecture halls, you're going to pretend no one can see you. Because if they can't see you, you can't see them, right? 

Nope, girl. That ain't gonna work. Getting lost in a crowd, for one, isn't truly in your nature and two, denying reality isn't good for anyone's psyche. You're there. In a sea of faces who are all in the same boat as you. Find some souls you can connect to, learn to once again attach yourself with an activity and it's people. One day you're going to thank your mom for repeatedly saying "find someone to carpool with" and "get involved."

- Professors are weird. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you'll be able to laugh at their idiocies and roll with the punches. Also, you will never understand why snow pants in Southern California are regular attire for some. 

- You'll hate your Psych 105 and Geology 101 classes. You'll butt heads with the professors (see point two) and you'll be thankful to have a sweet red head in both. But here's the good thing, you'll learn more in these classes than in all other classes you will take. Not on the subject matter necessarily, but you'll learn some REAL good stuff. 

- Change your major. It won't be admitting failure, but instead making the best adult decision in your life thus far. I promise, the weight will be lifted as soon as you drop the form off. Communications is where you need to be.

- You'll spend more time in a basement newspaper office than you ever thought possible, you'll miss a lot of sun sets and you'll emerge just a few hours before it rises again. But, its okay. 

-Make sure to bring your glasses and your contact case for your long night in said basement. Also, it might help to have makeup remover wipes in the car. Don't be like me and forget those things.

- Don't try to put your contacts in on Friday mornings, you're tired eyes will be very vocal about the pain you put them through with all nighters. Go with the glasses.

- Half way through when you feel like quitting school, know its always darkest before the dawn and thank your mom because she speaks truth. You CAN do it. 

- Getting preferred commuter parking will be of utmost appreciation. Because, in college, parking is no joke.

- Stop and do silly things to break up the monotony, like pulling over and taking pictures of road side sunflowers. They're beautiful and it will do your soul good to recognize their beauty. 

- You're gonna go on a few dates that will seem promising. One will be an author and there will be GREAT backstory to the date taking place, but he'll disappear randomly and you never buy or read his book because of it. The other will be associated with your dad's profession and he'll seem nice, but he'll disappear too after a few less than truthful statements. 

I'm gonna tell it to you straight, girl, your ego will take a bit of bruising from these encounters. The whole disappearing-without-explanation thing will bug you, but you'll get over it. Also, the stories they provided will in turn provide you and your friends some good laughs. In the end, its worth it. 

- Use your free gym membership. Don't do what I did and go three years without ever stepping foot in there. I'm serious. 

- Do some ditching. It won't kill you. Read what you can, and study the notes for the rest. And always remember, when all else fails, c's get degrees.

-You won't always get Tuesday/Thursday classes. Accept it, live it, and look for the good in Monday/Wednesday/Friday classes. Hint: shorter class times is part of that good. 

But here is what I really want you to know and focus on, you are meant for such a time as this.

For this school. For this region. For these people. For this economy.

For these days.

My thoughts on your thoughts // 10.2.14

I am an advocate for social media and the benefits it can bring. The ability to communicate your life's story is an interesting and fascinating ability that can be used for so many great things. Our history will be forever marked and written without ever needing a historian or fame to induce such recognition.

But, let me tell you, lately its been on my heart how crucial it is to use these tools with strong judgement and self control. Big data aside and the information being collected, the words we write and the pictures we post will mar our names and our children will have our reputations in hand for the rest of time. 

Now, I'm not here on a soapbox declaring that we leave a legacy or a withstanding representation of our lives, but I am asking that we question the validity of our "need" to post. 

Our thoughts are our thoughts, that not everyone needs to know twenty-four hours a day. They are ours to harness. Those who are known for greatness with their words learned to hold their tongue much of the time. We all have learning to do and self control to capture, but we have to make the conscious effort to do so. 

The unbirthday campaign: recap // 10.28.14

It's funny that I entitled this post "the unbirthday campaign: recap," because if you don't follow me on Instagram you've probably never heard of it. Although, I did allude to it in my annual birthday post.

Back story: For months I'd been trying to figure out what I wanted to do for my twenty first birthday. Its typically a birthday fraught with an all about me, I've earned this sort of attitude. Which I personally don't think that's what birthdays are about even in the slightest sense, so I wanted to do something different than what was expected of me. 

In one of many discussions about my birthday with my mom, she sparked an idea about doing twenty-one things for others, for my birthday. After a lot of thought, brainstorming, and planning-- the unbirthday campaign was born.

I was going to spend my actual birthday running around doing crazy fun/gift giving things with my good friend Kelly all over town. I had a list that was complied of twenty one random things that normally wouldn't be done on a typical day, rather than someone's birthday!

the unbirthday campaign list-
Krystal Elementary- cupcakes to share
Neighbor’s house- cookie drop
Mailbox- Mailmen should get cookies
Instagram- birthday giveaway
Mail Box- encouragement card
Redbox- surprise code
Target- dollar bills hide and seek
Target- random gift card(s) drop
Starbucks- free coffee surprise
Church office- coffee all around
NAPA- random gift card drop
Krystal Elementary- labor day lunch and flowers for mom
Aunt Carol’s house- flowers + sweets
Lunch- gift card for the waiter
Parking Kiosk- free parking surprise
Soda Machine- have a coke on me
Communications office- cookie drop
Afternoon pick me up- surprise snacks for sister
Newsroom- let them eat cookies
*some activities count as multiple

I'm not gonna lie to ya, this was quite the feat to prepare.  I was my typical crazy busy self who tried to get all of the prep work done the night before which included trying to bake cookies with no flour, (see: I took a trip to the store at 9:30 pm to round up missing baking supplies.) It was hectic and messy-- and to be honest, all a bit overwhelming. I thought seriously about jumping ship around 11:30 the night before.

But after some sleep and a refreshed commitment to "just have fun" and an understanding that it all wouldn't be "perfect" or how I planned, I was stoked to knock this list out. And can I just say, it was THE most fun i've had in a really long time? Because it totally was.

I would seriously encourage you, if you're looking for a birthday activity or wanting to do something out of your comfort zone, to do something like this. There is no greater excitement or happiness than bringing joy to others. And that isn't meant to sound corny, I believe it to be the honest to goodness truth.

People will ask you with puzzled looks what it is exactly that you're doing and many of them are gonna get all bug eyed when you tell them. But it's worth every strange look and caught off guard smile.

The 411 on 41 // 11.19.14
So do y'all remember awhile back, when I talked about doing something crazy for No.41?

Well to recap:

No.41, based in Rwanda, saw a need and sought a way to change it. Women needed jobs and children's bellies needed food. So two crazy dreamers on a hope and a lot of prayer, created a system that gave women the ability to earn a sustainable income by making hand crafted bags as well as a way to give back to the community by feeding local school children with the proceeds. Every year in April, No.41 does a special campaign, I wanted to get involved and fill some bellies; and came up with a scheme to fill those bellies on my poor college student budget. Enter-- she felt lovely. Read; head bands I made/sold to anyone and everyone who would buy them and then sent those funds off to No.41. We (and I say we because it took a village to get there) raised enough to feed 1,000 meals. It was uh-mazing. 

Fast forward 6 months:

After the she felt lovely 4/1 day extravaganza, Tara, founder of No.41, contacted me and asked me if I would be interested in joining No.41 and becoming a campus rep. My initial reaction was "Um. No way. Me? Someone needs to pinch me."

I have to tell you, this organization has been an inspiration to my soul and the opportunity to be an advocate for it is just awesome to say the least. So, of course, I emailed back YES and I have been on a crazy planning/scheming/listing action to get some intense word of mouth out there about No.41 since then.

Most of these posts were meant to be expanded on, but were left untouched and unfinished because of busyness and writer's confusion. If you made it to this paragraph- you, my friend, are a straight up champ. Those were a lot of thoughts to get through. 

I am thankful for this corner of the internet to jot thoughts down and depict the peaks and valleys my writing takes. Its been a good 4 1/2 years and I pray for more.