{For the Ladies}

 

Okay ladies, real talk.

After my own experience(s) and talking to old and new friends lately, I have come to the age old conclusion.

Dolls,We just want to be loved.

Some of us have dated guys who are considered the "bad boys."

Check.

Some of us have dated certain guys just because they paid attention to us. Frankly, we never even really had to "like" them.

Check.

Some of us have dated the same guy over and over again and we are surprised when we come to the very same conclusion that "we just don't work together."

Check.

Some of us have dated guys who meet all of our requirements and yet something is still amiss.

Check.

Some of us have never dated any of these guys, or any guy rather, and we long to date any of the above, no matter which category they fall under.  

Whew. Gals, why do we do this to ourselves? We go through this vicious cycle over and over again, just so we can feel "loved" by a man. We program our emotions to continually take over to the point where we believe we fall somewhere on the "I need a man to feel loved and I am not worthy enough to have the guy God would want for me" scale. Some of us don't lie on the far sides of the scale, but rarely do we ever really land in the happy middle.

Because of our insecurities of wanting to be loved we don't choose to see what God sees. Instead we see what society, our insecurities, ever changing emotions, and our comparisons hold for us.

As stated in one of my all time favorite movies, Sweet Home Alabama:

Jake: What is it about you Southern girls? You can't make the right decisions til you tried all the wrong ones.

Melanie: At least I fight for what I want.

Jake: Oh what do you want, Melanie? I don't even think you know.

It isn't often a handsome southern man tells us this in the rain, but if we are being honest, we could say this is true on at least some accounts in our lives.

We may not know what we want, but we do know we want love. And we will go for that, sometimes where ever we can find it.

Never truly stopping to think, we are made completely whole

 by our heavenly Father's love.

Sure, time to time we accept this notion, yet in a few hours we are onto focusing on the next insecurity that rears it's ugly little head.

Oi. I am thankful to have a heavenly Father that listens to those up and downs. Can you say broken record?

If only we as women would choose to take comfort in our faith alone and be made completely whole.

To make the choice each day, to focus on being made whole by the Lord, only.

Not to allow man or our own emotions to tear us down.

Wouldn't that be just grand?

Well, we all know it ain't (use of "ain't" is only used here for emphasis and the fact that I quoted Sweet Home Alabama, I just can't help it.) going to happen in my lifetime.

So here I sit, a broken woman. A woman that can only find that guy when I choose to see complete wholeness outside my broken self and broken others.

Only when I do this and continually ask for grace in the times I stumble, will the Lord bless me with that guy.

That guy, who takes the time to learn and winds up loving my quirks instead of memorizing a list of them to end up only tolerating them.

That guy, who will love Jesus more than I and will show His love to me daily even when I don't deserve it.

That guy, who will smile and choose to love the fact that I repeat funny lines in movies out loud as I chuckle, right after the actor has delivered them so perfectly. Even though, it will drive him nuts.

That guy, will see my heart in my writing. He may never completely understand why I blog, but he will support me and sit next to me as the soft hum of my keys type in the background. Heck, he may become the topic of some of those very blogs posts, and i'd bet, he would be okay with that too.

That guy, who will go toe to toe with me when my nasty stubborn streak shows up in town. And when I don't play nice, he will play "She is Everything to Me" by Brad Paisley, scoop me up and dance with me in the kitchen,  It'll happen. That is a promise.

That guy, will take in any antique or thrifted item I happen to drag home, even though he will continually state "babe, you don't have a place to put that." He will do it out of the kindness of his heart, because he will know antiques and a good deal warm the cockles of my heart. And in the end, he too will love those items because I love them.

That guy, will love my momma as much as I do. He will dote on her, like a real gentlemen. He will bend over backwards to share his time with my family because he knows they are my life line.

That guy, will open the front door each evening after work and prepare for whatever whim I may be up to and chuckle and smile to himself when I am blue over something not being "just so." He will tip my chin up so that I can see his face and tell me whatever it is, is just fine and to sit down so he can pour me a cup of tea (okay, maybe I am dreaming alittle too hard here, but a girl can dream!) because he knows, that is just me.

We can dream all we want over that guy, but we can't lose sight of our center of completeness. Or else, we may end up with more checks on our list of categorized guys.

For me, I want to find my comfort in completeness of the Lord so I can be that girl, for that guy.

{Communication}

The quarter was officially over last Friday.

Praise the good Lord, He got me through.

He blessed me with a peace and calmness that I had not felt in college yet.

I have cherished this blessing the most.

I can honestly say, in my communication with Him, I chose to worship him in school.

I gave my classes and my assignments over to Him.

I did my very best to let go and see His blessings in the past ten weeks.

And in this time, I came to the fully understanding that I was not being called to be a nurse.

Jesus, was not directing me in that path of education.

When I thought about the task and the schooling, my heart would become heavy.

I love people and helping them in their time of need.

And yet at the same time, I didn't feel like I could do my very best at those things if I became a nurse.

Kind of funny isn't it?

I know.

In all honesty, I have been struggling with my major choice for a good solid six months.

Maybe even longer than that.

Everything sounds great on paper, until you break it down to it's core and analyze it until you feel as if your head wants to explode.

It happens, people.

So this quarter, I knew I had to change my major so that I could start jumping through the new hoops and get the ball rolling.

Gosh, did I struggle.

What was I going to choose?

Where did God want me?

Why was this so difficult?

Lord, why aren't you just dropping hints to where I need to be?

(sheesh, why do I question Him?)

So the quest began and prayers were being said at night before going to bed and muttered under my breath while walking to class as my mind began to stress.

And I can't tell you exactly when where or why, but one day the Lord placed communication on my heart.

I like to communicate.

I like to talk and express my feelings.

I like to hear people talk and express their feelings.

I like to share emotions.

I am learning that I am more like my Momma more and more each day.

I cry. Alot.

And I don't consider this a bad thing.

I am sometimes (most of the time) overwhelmed with emotion, good and bad, and by things that don't even have to concern me.

I like to connect with people.

It brings me true joy when I can share a cup of coffee or stand in a Disneyland line with someone and have a raw conversation.

To communicate with people, is a passion of mine.

As I started to look into communication, I found an emphasis in Public Relations.

And I felt a peace about this.

Now some of you may be thinking, What?

This girl wants to work in Public Relations?

Where people aren't the nicest a very large part of the time?

Yes. Exactly.

I feel one of my talents is communicating with people.

In their time of frustration, I want to be that understanding helpful person.

A person that when they are done needing me they felt that they were truly understood and helped.

I want to show Christ's love in my communication.

I want people to feel his love from the moment they walk up to my desk or wherever I am.

I want them to feel special and important in that moment.

I sometimes feel that we as humans don't do this enough.

We are all so focused on our own agendas and our own needs, we forget in the small moments to stop, breathe, and really take in whats going on around us.

I believe if we all did this more often we wouldn't be on each other's nerves as often.

Go figure.

I am not perfect at this and I need work, but I want to do this for the glory of the Lord.

Through me, He will show His love for people.

It will not be my broken flesh that will perfectly communicate with others, but His wonderful plan will shine through my works.

I pray that the Lord will continue to give me the peace I feel now with this major choice.

I haven't a clue where He will lead me with this degree, but I pray I will open heartedly follow His plan and His purpose for my life where ever that may be.

In that,

I am now a Communications major with an emphasis in Public Relations and a girl who wants desperately to find the purpose God is seeking her life.

Father, lead me to Your heart.

 P.s. I am looking forward to this month of vacation from school. How nice it will be to sleep in!