{Middle of the Week, Praise + Silliness}

 {Before you even begin, can I just say I hate the way the word 'silliness' is spelled. It looks, well, silly.}

Well this morning, I drank my first cup of coffee while stocking skimming other's instagrams. {I am completely normal, and am in no way a creeper. Okay, maybe slightly.}

And for my second cup, I find myself wasting time in the blogasphere.

Although, is it really wasting time if I am being encouraged by sweet Jesus loving women and their words?

Forget what the jury may say. I don't need permission to approach the bench. And I certainly don't need another reason to debate.

The answer is no, it is not a time waster. There, I said it. You're welcome.

Enjoying the humor? Or should I just get to my point already?

I should probably {Prob-bab-ly} just get to the point. I have to start my day. Sheesh, people.

Remember when I talked about spring break + more grace (here)? Well I have some super exciting, juicy, major praise worthy news for you! I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! {Too much, for this early?...forgive me, I have had two cups of coffee already remember?}

I found out on Monday morning. I stared at the screen for a solid 2 minutes before screaming Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus! {The screaming was mostly internal, but it still counts} Wanna know the score? An 84, I will take that B and shout about it from the roof tops. No joke. I took a screen shot and everything. I sent it to my mom, of course.

It is truly a blessing from the Lord. Every time He shows off and blesses me big, I still feel like pinching myself. To have a heavenly Father, that loves me so much that He chooses to bless me big with things I just can't ignore, is pretty stinkin' awesome. I know for a fact I could not have done this with out His working hand.

Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus! 

 

If you have really good eyes or are reading this on a handy-dandy smart phone, you can zoom in and see that not only did I pass my final but I ended the class with a high B. #what

How awesome is our God? Can I get an Amen?

{please say it, I mean, don't leave me virtually hanging}

Happy Wednesday y'all! I am off to start my day.

Thanks to all you brave souls who made it to the end of all this coffee infused praise and silliness.

It is much appreciated.

P.s. The coffee was decaffeinated.

{Spring Break+More Grace+Nico}

SPRING BREAK IS HERE!!!

{Okay, that's enough shouting from the virtual roof tops}

If you couldn't tell, winter quarter has ended and it is time for a short break before spring quarter starts.

I first wrote about the beginning of winter quarter here. I chatted about my need to see the importance of grace and not perfection. I needed this to understand true importance of my schooling.

I started the quarter raring to go, waiting to see what the Lord had in store.

Well, He definitely took the importance of grace to a level I wasn't prepared for.

You see, I was fine with accepting grace as long as everything was hunky dory and the way I wanted it. {#what} And of course, this wasn't the way the Lord knew I would learn.

I received an A in my beginning Spanish class this past fall, so naturally I wasn't too worried about my second class out of three that would fulfill my general education requirement. Although, I found out soon into the quarter this class would be my most difficult. My professor, although hilarious and personable, was hard to learn from. Major bummer. So I plugged along, hoping and praying it would get better. Although when my midterm grade came back, I knew I was in for it. Let me just say, I am almost always an A and B student. My midterm grade for Spanish was a 62. {Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.} This hurt {still does slightly}, like a lot. Yet after a little wasteful worrying, I was reminded of my promise of holding myself to a standard of grace. Jesus' grace. Not perfection. Sure I could of studied maybe just a bit more {like on any test}, but I was definitely trying to do my best and I answered each question with my greatest knowledge on the subject. So I was resolved to do all the extra credit I could and bust my butt on any other assignments that were assigned through the rest of the quarter. When it came time to study for my final this week, I definitely put in more time than I did for my midterm and I prayed. Boy, did I pray. I wanted to focus, understand, and complete the material the I had been struggling with for the last 10 weeks. Obviously I can't master it and I sure don't know it that well, but with Jesus anything is possible.

Today was the test and through an almost breakdown mid-way through, prayerful thoughts, and extreme racking of my brain, I survived.

And as I was walking to my car absolutely scared of what the outcome might be, the Lord washed my heart with truth.

In eternity this class will never matter. The fact that you may or may not receive a very low grade on this test and in this class, matters not. I only ask for you to love me and show my love to others around you. I don't care about if you get an A or a degree.

Talk about a calming effect and putting things into perspective!

I mulled this over on the way home and readily let it go.

I have no clue how I did on that final. But I know for a fact, the Lord does and He already knows the outcome of my finishing grade.

I am not perfect, I can not ace every thing. Sometimes{a lot of times}I muddle through things and have to force myself to rest in the grace I have been shown by the only perfect one. I don't do this well. He has to remind me everyday.

So tonight I wait, resting in the grace of not being perfect.

Knowing the Lord has a plan with whatever grade I get.

Excited to enjoy my short break.

And learning that, Grace is greater than Perfection{always}.

p.s. If you didn't know, today is World Down Syndrome day.

Check out this little cutie pie who has just about run off with my heart!

Nico is his name{aka the cutest red head ever.} He is an orphan in Russia, who has a forever family waiting for him and the adoption ban to end.

There are big prayers and dreams being prayed for him, but I have been focusing on simple ones. Such as, asking for a little extra attention to be given to show him how special and lovable he is.

Heavenly father, this morning {Russian Time} I ask that sweet little Ni would be given some extra loves. I don't know how you are going to do it Lord, but until his forever mommy can do it, I ask that someone sees that precious smile and lets him wiggle in and create a little soft spot in their heart.



{being real + grace}

 A few days ago, my sweet friend{you know who you are} gave me one of the largest compliments I have had up to date.

The conversation went along the lines of this:

Friend: "You are one of my favorite people"

Me: "Oh. Well thank you! I can not imagine why though!"

Friend: "Well, because you are real."

You are real.

Can I just say this compliment hit me like a ton of bricks? To be real is one of my biggest wants because, frankly, there was a time in my life where I wasn't. I was extremely selfish and prideful. My "real" was making my life cookie cutter and "perfect" with my ideal Jesus, who fit in the places I wanted Him to. He was an addition, not the whole package. It did not involve humility and sincere apologies, rather turmoil and hurtful actions to those I cared about. I don't particularly care for that gal any longer.

Circa April.2012: a girl wrapped up in her own ideas and emotions.

 

I find this compliment to be completely orchestrated by the Lord, because on this same day of the compliment, I was going to be real with someone who I had selfishly hurt in my "all about me" days.

It was a prompting by the Lord, to stay real and remember to be humble.

y'all, Being real, is messy.

And I am not a huge fan of messy...besides the top drawers in both my desk and dresser. Those are junk drawers, they don't count right?

Back to the point.

I was going to have to be messy and show my heart. And if that meant crying, I best put on some glasses so my contacts didn't irritate my eyes. And if I felt uncomfortable, I was to keep on keeping on. Whatever I was going to say, the Lord had already orchestrated. If I didn't feel I was saying my thoughts as eloquent as I had rehearsed in my head, it was okay. Jesus knew my heart.

And while Being real and messy+uncomfortable+awkward, I was met with grace.

Nothing I said happened the way I planned it out... The way I had planned it out in my head, didn't even remotely occur. Yet, its okay. I had an opportunity to share my heart with a person who could of easily {and understandably} blew me off + make it clear that I didn't deserve the time of day from them.

That didn't happen and I was blessed with gracious listening ears.

This person took time out of their day to listen to me talk about something that was uncomfortable from the past that could of just as easily been brushed under the carpet.

This person chose to show + give me grace, like Jesus does. Each and every day.

If being real means anything, it is this, grace is a daily necessity. I know I need some {a lot} from the moment my feet hit the floor each morning. And I am tremendously grateful I was shown this kind of grace, earlier this week.

This blog is meant for Blunders and a lot times I wrap things up in nice little bows to make them come off better or wait to write until I can control the emotional aspect. But lets be real, for real.

We only see God's grace when we are real.

Circa March.2013: No make up+glasses+No insta anything. Just a girl trying to live for the Lord.

So lets run with it, shall we?