Today's Nineveh

*hey there. I am joining She Reads Truth during Lent and contributing to their She Shares Truth Fridays. This week: Jonah 3+4. Feel free to click on the link for other women's reflections as well! 

I live near a city that resembles something similar to a modern day Nineveh. It is full of broken, messy people. Many of them break the law and hurt those around them. It is a city that many avoid. 

Recently, I was reminded how Jonah like I can be. As I sat in front of a house with a van filled with trash and a roof covered in tarps, I questioned how I would react in a Chapter 3-4 situation. 

"Up on your feet and on your way to the big city of Nineveh! Preach to them. They're in a bad way and I can't ignore it any longer." Jonah 3:2 MSG

"Jonah entered the city, went one day's walk and preached, 'in forty days Nineveh will be smashed.'" Jonah 3:4 MSG

Sure I may listen to the Lord and follow his path to a broken city, but as soon as the Lord's original plan changes I feel I would react in a similar fashion to Jonah's, dare I say it?, Drama Queen antics. 

"Jonah was furious. He lost his temper. He yelled at God, 'God! I knew it- when I was back home, I knew this was going to happen! That's why I ran off to Tarshish! I knew you were grace and mercy, not easily angered, rich in love, and ready at the drop of a hat to turn your plans of punishment into a program of forgiveness!" Jonah 4: 1-2

As soon as grace shows up, boom. How dare God 1) change His plan and 2) DO what we love most about Him for people "far worse than us." Jonah flat calls God out as if this whole forgiveness thing is the worst thing that could ever happen. He goes as far to say, "So, God, if you won't kill them, kill me! I'm better off dead!" Jonah 4:3 

Gee, again I state, DRAMA QUEEN. But. Y'all, I have this deep gut wrenching feeling in my stomach that I may react/have reacted in a similar way. Somewhere in our rotten flesh we sometimes feel we are the only ones deserving of God's mercy. We (I) forget that he pulled us (me) out of our (my) own fish's belly when we (I) messed up, and we are (I am) most likely only one choice away from being in that place again. Because, frankly, we deserve to be apart of God's original plan for Nineveh. 

And yet, the Lord still showed a great deal of grace to Jonah in his fit. "Is it right for you to be angry about this?" Jonah 4:4 NLT He didn't anger, but gently tried to remind Jonah of the great love He bestows.

But that didn't work, and neither did the tree. 

I absolutely hate leaving Jonah's story like this. I often wonder what happened to him, did he ever snap out of it? Did he ever "get it?" 

I question if i'll ever truly get that I am not worthy of grace and mercy. 

Yet I know through all my imperfections and the imperfections of those around me (even in harsh cities), Jesus is still there gently reminding us of His love for us all, dusting us off, breaking us down, and sending us out for His glory.

This story wrecks me every single time I read it. It is a raw reminder to get off my high horse and open my eyes. Jesus is for the broken, that's me, you, and those we consider the worst. 

Lord, I am broken. I struggle to live and love the way you have done and do for us. Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers. Thank you for Jonah, thank you for giving us his story to remind us of our own actions and reactions. Prompt our hearts to seek your mercy as we go out into the world today. Amen.